Do I Need to Talk About My Trauma?

As a therapist specializing in trauma, many of my clients carry deep traumatic histories. A frequently asked question is: Do I need to retell my trauma in therapy? Must I recall and verbalize experiences long buried, allowing repressed pain to resurface? For many, this process feels like tearing open old wounds—emotionally overwhelming, and immensely taxing to balance alongside daily life. In fact, for some, therapy can feel more distressing than healing, prompting them to abandon it altogether.

One particularly complex form of trauma is preverbal trauma—trauma that occurs before language acquisition, such as neglect, abuse, medical interventions, violence, or separation from primary caregivers. Because infants lack the capacity for verbal expression or cognitive processing, such experiences are stored somatically and emotionally rather than as narrative memories. As adults, individuals may be unable to recall specific events yet still suffer from emotional dysregulation, anxiety, or difficulties forming trusting relationships. In short, if trauma occurred before language, it cannot be easily articulated.

In truth, not all trauma therapy requires detailed recounting of traumatic events. Traditional approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE), and Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET) often involve revisiting trauma narratives. However, if clients are unprepared or lack a sense of agency, such exposure can lead to re-traumatization (Davies & Stoneham, 2025).

In contrast, modern therapies such as Internal Family Systems (IFS) prioritize emotional regulation, body awareness, and inner safety, allowing trauma processing without direct narration. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) also enables healing without requiring clients to verbalize their trauma in detail.

In early stages of trauma therapy, prioritizing emotional stabilization and trust-building provides a safer foundation. Effective trauma treatment does not depend on verbalizing traumatic events. Healing can unfold through somatic integration, emotional regulation, and a strong therapeutic alliance—tailored by skilled clinicians to meet each client’s unique needs and readiness.

References

Davies, R.A., Stoneham, T. The Ethics of Trauma Memory. glob. Philosophy 35, 1 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10516-024-09734-1